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Self-reflection

Now, its not a lie to say I am self absorbed because I wouldn't be a true artist if I wasn't. Any artist that says they are completely selfless and only interested in others is telling porky pies. Since a child I have been very extrovert with my opinions but always careful not to be arrogant with my own views as they are my own and nobody else's. Amongst many other things this kind of egotistical behavior is severely irritating. I'm not saying you have to be an artist to be able to think deeply about yourself and express yourself but artists have a nack for it. So, last semester in visual literacy I was set the project of Identity. To look at myself, explore and create a visual diary in the form of a sketchbook about my life. At first it was very difficult, I'm used to creating work with my own opinions expressed into them but never completely about myself and who I was as a person. It was a great project to do and kind of linking with the inspiration blog from earlier I found out who and what inspires me. My family, friends, boyfriend were major parts in the sketchbook. Previous work that had brought me to the point I am in my life. And even day to day events, who I surround myself with and what happens. I've never moved out before and so this leap from being at home with my parents to being on my own was liberating but also terrifying. The book helped me relax a bit more being on my own and to be fair I wasn't totally alone as I came to uni with my best friend. What culminated from the project was a series of images of myself that carried on from some work I did at foundation.




They were created sat in my boyfriend's bathroom sat on a closed toilet seat with the tripod and camera in the shower opposite me. The camera was set on a timer and a very slow shutter speed ranging from 15 to 20 seconds. I wrapped different transparent things around my face such as the shower curtain, white bed sheet, white t-shirt but in these four images above it was the cling film that was more successful. I used a torch for lighting swirling it around my face and against my face  to highlight it and the cling film. I left it in colour as I am usually drawn to black and white but in the darkness the colour is vibrant and seductive. Quoting from the last page in my sketchbook explaining what these images are about:

"At the moment I feel under pressure with deadlines and distorted with the culmination of work. So I wanted to create a few images dealing with that. I am a major renowned worrier, it bothers me that I generally can't relax about anything but hey ho it runs in the family so tough shit."

I am constantly worrying about things especially deadlines and being the best because I want to succeed, and at the time other modules where making me feel like I wasn't good enough as a photographer or artist but this project was really liberating. 

Until next time...

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